Or… are earthly fathers “kings” of their home/family.
The Bible teaches patriarchy 1Gen 2:18, 1 Tim 2:8-15, Col 3:18, Eph 5:22-33, 1 Cor 11:2-15. And because I believe that the bible is God’s infallible word, I count my self as a biblical patriarchist.
However, husbands/fathers, while uniquely called to play a leadership role in our homes, are not “intermediaries” between our wives/children for THE Prophet/Priest/King Jesus. All Christians ought to imitate Christ and therefore we all have duties under His offices, but we do not “stand in” or “stand between” anyone and Jesus according to these offices (contrary to the popular early 90s song by CCM artist, Bruce Carroll: “Who Will Be Jesus?“). All Christians have access to God through Christ alone with no other mediator between them.
Fathers should rule their households well, not as vice-regents, but as vice-gerents. It is not our own prerogative that we have been given authority to enforce when it comes to matters of the faith, but rather it is Christ’s commands as revealed in scripture alone. Beyond that, fathers abuse their authority if they demand “my will be done” rather than “Thy will be done”. This is an important distinction lest we claim authority which belongs to Christ alone.
“Notice how the catechism speaks. It does not distinguish between males and females in the exercise of the threefold office (munus triplex). All believers are, in Christ, by grace alone, through faith alone, prophets, priests, and kings. Christ is our intercessor. Husbands/Fathers have an important function to serve his family by leading them, by setting an example, by speaking God’s Word to his family, by praying for his family, and by serving as the administrative head of the house, but he is not the Messiah. He is not the priest. He is not a mediator. Indeed, it would not be proper to think of any mere mortal as a mediator between God and man: “For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Tim 2:5).”1
Are Husbands/Fathers “kings”?
Let’s take a look at the Kingly office and why it belongs to Christ and not to our earthly Husbands or Fathers.
The Federal office of King is used throughout scripture primarily as the federal (representative) head of the people of God (all other functions of this office are downstream from this primary essence). You may have heard this common phrase often used to briefly describe this “federal” function: “As the King goes, so go his subjects…”. When applying this biblically, this is the relationship to God’s (the King) covenant with Israel (the subjects). The King acts as federal head of the people. When the King keeps the covenant, God has promised within the terms of His covenant to lavish the BLESSINGS of the covenant, not only upon the King, but upon all of the people that the King federally represents.
One argument that might be made in rebuttal to my proposal is that fathers are also a sort of “federal” head for their families. And I would agree! However, they are NOT a federal head in the same sense that the earthly kings of God’s covenant people in the OT, and they are certainly not a federal head in regard to the NEW covenant in which Christ is the last and *only* federal head. So Christ, our federal head, has kept the law perfectly for all Christians who therefore receive the blessings of that covenantal obedience! Hallelujah!
While our earthly fathers might in a sense bring earthly blessings upon their families by faithful obedience to God and His instructions on how husbands/fathers ought to lead, our earthly fathers cannot garner for us the covenantal blessing that only Christ, our King, earned for us. Husbands and Fathers cannot save their children or bring them into the covenant community of God. Our earthly fathers cannot (as one pastor suggests) “control whether or not their children grow up to walk with God.” Our earthly fathers can’t do anything that would prevent their children from Christ claiming them under his federal headship and thus brining those children into covenant communion.
Another more practical reason why it’s unhelpful to refer to fathers/husbands as “kings” is because unlike King Jesus who rules by fiat, earthly husbands/fathers would be sinful to do so. Kings have sovereign power over their subjects. And this is a good thing if your King is Jesus because His will is perfect. He is both absolutely sovereign AND infinitely wise2. Our earthly fathers have not been given such authority. Yes, we are to submit to our earthly fathers “in the Lord”3. Meaning, we submit to their rule because they are supposed to be ruling as God has commanded them to. (As an aside, we don’t get to stop obeying them just because they once sinned against us by abusing this authority… God knew that earthly fathers wouldn’t rule perfectly and yet he still charged them to do so and commanded their families to obey and show them honor).
When an earthly father abuses this responsibility/authority by demanding sovereign control over his family, he is in sin. He is only to use his authority to lead his family in the way that God has commanded him. Our earthly fathers have imperfect prerogatives… not so with our King Jesus. Jesus’ prerogative is perfect, and therefore everything He wants of/from us or commands of us is good FOR us (and glorifying to Him).
For these reasons and more I don’t find it helpful to say that husbands/fathers are “kings” (not even with a lower case “k”). Jesus is our King. Under his federal headship, we are secure and do not require our earthly fathers to earn covenantal blessings for us. We have all we need in Christ.
So, husbands and fathers, rule your families well as a vice-gerent (not a vice-regent). Take your families to church. Submit to your church through membership. Teach and lead your families towards submission to the Church (one another) and King Jesus. And let your ruling be one of “imitate me as I imitate Christ”…